So, I leave town for a few days and upon returning I find that Hugo “Jesus” Chavez has been sneaking around wheeling and dealing with his equivalent, Mahmoud “Mahdi” Ahmadinejad, in my backyard. It seems like Chavez too has gone bananas and converted to Hojjatiyeh. Beware Venezuelans! We already had a spokesperson for Mahdi and now it looks like Jesus has been granted one as well.
According to Mehr News, during his visit to Imam Reza’s shrine in Mashhad, Chavez declared: “I offer my heart’s feelings to Imam Reza. I know that Christ’s feelings are also very positive feelings in accordance with the feelings of Imam Reza.” (I’m only translating a ridiculous sentence, already translated from probably Spanish to Farsi, to English, so blame it on Mehr News. But you get the gist of it.)
Chavez also adds: “Jesus and Mahdi are not dead, they are alive and will return one day and would fill the world with justice. This afternoon Imam Khamenei told us that until us two presidents are united and together deeply in our hearts and souls, together in our actions, efforts and humane activities, and if we follow our justice seeking deeds, Imam Mahdi and Jesus Christ will arrive quickly. We must put our efforts into this so that Mahdi and Jesus appear with haste and create a world full of justice and we hope this will become a reality soon.”
While we wait for these guys to show up it looks like Venezuela will be providing us with gasoline during the upcoming hard times, and in return we will give them technology, machinery and medicine, which makes one feel terrible for both nations.
There was also Chavez’s very vocal support for Iran’s nuclear program. According to PressTV Chavez said that “there is not a single proof that Iran is building … a nuclear bomb” and “soon they will accuse us of also building an atomic bomb in Venezuela”. He then goes on to say that “Caracas aims to build a ‘nuclear village’ with Iranian assistance in Venezuela”. What a great idea; a village with two idiots and lots of gunpowder.
P.S. One word to Hugo: Lose the red tie and grow a beard next time or there will be problems with Jesus being friends with Mahdi.